Growing up, I was surrounded by a family that was always in turmoil. My parents constantly fought with each other incredibly, very violent even, so my home was filled with negativity and tension. This constant exposure to conflict and drama took a toll on my mental health, and I started to feel the weight of anxiety and depression settle on my shoulders.
At first, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings and struggled to make sense of the world around me. I was constantly worried about everything, from my family to my future, and I felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next argument would break out.
I was trying to keep up with school, work, and mental health because my family was constantly in turmoil. It was like drowning in a sea of stress and negative energy, and I felt there was no way out.
As I grew older, my mental health issues only intensified. I started to avoid social situations and struggled to form meaningful relationships with others. I felt stuck in a cycle of anxiety and depression and didn’t know how to break free from it. It’s a constant battle within me not to let anxiety control me.
I also experience Panic Attacks. It’s when I wake up with a fast heartbeat which is very unsettling and cause me to feel even more anxious. In the morning, when I feel this attack, I move from the bed, take a walk for 30 mins with a calming song, sometimes Podcast, or nothing at all, just focusing on my surroundings, hearing the birds chirping, and managing my thoughts to be in order.
Then, I began to start Psychotherapy to start making progress. With the help of a supportive therapist, I was able to work through my childhood experiences and learn coping mechanisms to help me manage my anxiety and depression. I learned to recognize my triggers and how to regulate my emotions, and I gained a deeper understanding of myself and my family.
I know that my journey with anxiety is not over, but I want to encourage others who are also struggling to seek help and to know that they are not alone.
Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it is okay to ask for help.
You are not weak; or too much to feel what you feel; you are brave for acknowledging your struggles and taking steps to improve your mental well-being.
I write mostly for myself, sharing some of it with you,
Take care until then,